Miyabina

As I am sure that E/everyone that reads my blog now knows. My Mistress is now back in the United Kingdom. It is hard having Her be gone. I almost fall to pieces any time that I see something that reminds me of Her. Little things like when I try to make food that She has made in the past. Or, something simple by seeing the empty chair next to the one I sit in. Then there is always bed time, so hard not being able to say “Good night” to Her before I fall asleep. That one still breaks me to pieces. W/we are trying to find ways to keep sane, which seems to be working. Plus, W/we are keeping the communication lines as wide open as W/we can.

It looks like the only really legal way for Mistress to come back to the US and stay is through a K-1 visa. There is ways to do it on a visitor visa, but they very rarely go through since it is seen as cheating the system. Which, is very sad, since the K-1 takes on average of 204 days to process until the interview, which is pretty much the last stage. But firstly, and foremost, the money for all the paperwork has to be acquired. Will be a little bit before that is saved up, which adds to the 6+ months of waiting. Luckily, after everything is through W/we can be together again without having to worry about time constraints.

So, all that being said, I do apologize if I seem distant or different than normal. It is just a very hard time for me. I feel lost and have little desire to do anything. Luckily, I have a lot of things to remind me of Her while She is away.

In other news, the Neon seems to be doing well after the valve gasket got replaced. Despite a few of the bolts being broken off in the head. W/we got some nice gasket sealant. Just have to be careful to watch the temperature and level of the oil. I think the battery is dieing too, I get the low battery power indicator somewhat often. Might be the alternator, not really sure yet. I also need to fix the surging that is somehow introduced into the transmission. It will be driving and then either lose power completely or feel like that torque converter is locking and takes a bit of coercion to get it to act normal. Already replaced the fluid, so I think it is some electrical issue. Which might be because of a bad battery/alternator/ground.

My transition is going fairly well, to be honest. Pretty much at this point I feel I am a long way into it, and very near being able to say I am “done.” Though, most of transition is just the social side of things, and coming to grips with oneself. It will be nice to see how the future holds with how my body turns out. I am happy enough to report that I have lost 20lbs of muscle mass since I started the hormone replacement regime.

Also, starting to play EQ2 again. Luckily, Mistress seems to be enjoying it. W/we tried playing World of Warcraft, but there was something about it that just didn’t entice Mistress to try it more and keep playing. EQ2 seems to be more O/our style anyway. Considering you can play a fae, and a feline. Just wish there was more “RP” stuff in EQ2. Basic lame stuff like sitting in chairs. Though, decorating houses is a blast. Before I quit the last time I had a nice summoning room, a torture room, my chambers, among another two or three rooms with various themes.

I can’t seem to not dream. It becomes a constant annoyance and prevents me from attaining a restful night’s sleep. Especially, reoccurring and progressive nightmares. I’ve seemed to be able to block them from interfering with my normal life, but it is an emotional drain regardless. Hopefully in time they will subside.

Thank Y/you to E/everyone that has given me support and encouragement in the past few months. It will help me endure the infernal months that are to follow.

That is it from me for now…
Toodies~
Miya

On her knees she slowly turns her gaze upward,
She sees the most beautiful blue eyes,
In those eyes is her reflection,
She is filled with a sense of obeisance,
A faint whisper reaches her ears,
The sound of “I love you” is heard,
She softly smiles whispering in a soft tone,
“I love You too, Mistress”
Retiring to bed knowing what will happen,
Knowing that it will be a long time,
A long time before she will see her Mistress again,
Despite the trouble in her heart,
She tries to sleep,
She closes her eyes,
Yet no sleep comes to her,
However, she is comforted by the breathing,
The bittersweet sound of breathing,
The breathing of her Mistress,
An alarm clock is heard,
“No” she silently cries… “No”
Alas, she must awaken,
She must,
She must see her Mistress away,
“Be strong” she says,
She waves goodbye and breaks into tears,
Now she waits,
Waits for her Angel to return.

My Mistress is trying to be able to stay in the US. Yet all W/we face is one roadblock after another, if any of Y/you have any suggestions or comments please send them to myself or my Mistress at the email provided in what She has posted below.
Thank Y/you very much.

Trinity Dejavu Wrote:
“We’re in desperate need of any help and advice, if anyone knows of similar cases can you please get in touch (trinity.deja at googlemail.com) or via Trinity Dejavu in Secondlife.
I’m a uk cit, pre-op male to female transexual, I have had no surgery at this point and have been living full time for the last 2 years.
I changed my name and title in the UK 2 years ago by deed poll then when applied for a passport the UK office asked for a letter concerning my op status. My GP wrote me a letter saying “to the best of my knowledge, this person intends to transition fully” this got me a F gender marker on my passport.
My birth certificate stills says M.
I wish to marry my US born female partner and immigrate to live together in the US.
Can we do this? (as im still M everywhere except passprt)
Will I be treated as M or F for marriage and immigration purposes? Will I be seen as M for one and F for the other?
I really need all the help I can get on this, were tearing our hair out not knowing if we can stay together. We dont want to live in the UK (even though that would be simpler).”

Made it to Olympia in one piece. Car messed up a bit, but got fixed enough to continue the drive. Didn’t have time to see a friend before I left, will try to do so when I go back to Phoenix, AZ in a month or so. Went to Olympia’s GLBT thing yesterday, was fun. Just a small update.

That is all from me…
Toodles~
Miya

Here is the problem, I would like anybody’s help, opinions, whatever.

I am transsexual.
My Mistress/lover is transsexual.
We are poly.
We have another lover that is cissexual.

I am an MTF, with Male still on my birthcertificate and identification.
(http://miyabina.fooroo.co.uk)
My Mistress is an MTF as well, with Female on her passport, but Male on her birth certificate.
The other person is female.

Me and the cissexual person are US citizens.
Mistress is a UK citizen.

We all love each other, we all want to stay together.

We were planning on having Mistress marry the cissexual person (sorry, keeping names private as much as possible). But the CIS issued a memo in 2004 stating to deny marriage visa applications where one or both parties are transsexual. (http://www.ilw.com/articles/2004,0817-mehta.shtm)

We want to know how we can all stay together.

Please, I beg of you. Help me. US or UK doesn’t matter we are all staying together.

Thank you,
Miyabina

So, it is done and I have more proof than just a little paper for it… something solid that I can carry with me all the time. I have my driver’s license with my name on it. Last time I was at the DMV I asked what was needed to change my gender marker on my license. Two people told me all I needed was a court order. Cool, easy enough. I go back there, talk with the gal and have my name and gender marker. Go to the camera station to get my picture/signature taken and then get the actual card printed out. All goes fine, it prints out with my new name and an F. Then the lady, errm butch dyke, there looked at it and asked me for more information, about the gender marker change. Things led to me talking to the supervisor and them saying that I needed a letter from my SRS surgeon saying it was complete in order to get that changed. I go back and actually look up the laws, and all it says is that you need a doctor’s letter that says you are “irrevocably committed to the gender-change process.” You do not have to actually have had SRS. I called a local therapist here, yes I called someone. Fuck I hate calling people. I *LOATHE* telephones. I would rather die than call anyone. But, I digress. I called a local therapist here and asked her about it. She said that the Department of Motor Vehicles are assholes about it, and everyone interprets the law differently, so it is a pain in the ass. Oh well, at least my picture absolutely rocks, and the contrast of my collar is outstanding! Hehe.

That is my rant from me this time…
Toodles~
Miya

Today, I am legally and officially Miyabina Ann Susanti. It all went smoothly, no need for any justification other than “common usage” which is outstanding. A lot of personal anxiety and worrying about everything. I loath talking to people, always seem to embarrass myself… which I thoroughly did. Otherwise, it is all said and done. Just updating my birth certificate, passport, and drivers license now. Which means a trip to the Office of Vital Records to get my new birth certificate, then to the Social Security Office to give notice of my new name, then wait two days and go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get my new license. Which, apparently from someone I spoke to whom worked there, I will be able to get an F on that. Sound so weird to want to get an F on something, just reminds me of school. Yay! I failed my test!! Hehe, sorry just getting over the stress still.

Anyway on to a much more serious topic.

In Olympia, Washington a transwoman named Anya Adora was arrested for threatening high school kids with a taser. Anya didn’t hurt anyone, and was detained by police without incident. The Media got a hold of this story and her myspace/livejournal pages which said things like “An eye for an eye, a child must die” among other threatening things. Yet, they fail to delve any deeper into Anya’s story about being screwed over hard by the government. Anya is in a very bad spot right now and all she wanted was someone to help her… give her an Independent Medical Examination, and someone to help her with her gender issues. She has not been able to get hormones or anything yet because of some medical conditions she has. It is just sad how the media is making her seem like a freak. Always referring to her as “he” and “a man with pink rubber boots.” It just hads to the troubles, but very easy to do when said person doesn’t “pass.” Just another downfall of binary genders. Even though I embrace them in a way (otherwise I wouldn’t transition, would just be androgynous) but not in another (if you don’t “pass” you will never be a woman).
Here is the newsfeeds:
http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_052808WAB_students_threatened_with_taser_TP.3aab4d3c.html
and:
http://www.king5.com/video/index.html?nvid=249609
then also:
http://www.komonews.com/news/19337534.html
Then the blog:
http://simplecircuit.livejournal.com/2008/05/18/
Granted Anya was very impatient, but with all that pain a minute can seem like a year. Oh well, just hope she gets some help soon enough. Makes me kind of glad I never challenged GameStop or anything like that, especially if the media got involved. Even though I am still working through the emotional fallout from that job.

Will probably post again once I get my license, letting you know if I failed it… I mean got an F on it :p
That is all from me for now…
Toodles~
Miya (no really, that is my name XD)

Yes, another update from me… wee.

It is insanely hot here. I really miss the UK right about now, or at least Washington. Right now it is one hundred degrees Fahrenheit, in a few days it is supposed to get to one hundred and ten. That is unbearable, I have no idea why people even live in this desert. Anyway, enough about that.

Last night went and saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. It was a really good flick, ignoring the religious undertones. I tend to lose track of the plot in movies with talking animals. I dunno, it just seems I over identify with them or something. The Golden Compass is another flick that comes to mind where I am the same.

Otherwise, I am doing alright. Panic attacks weekly… really embarrassing to be honest. Wish I could just do things and talk with people without the cold sweating, shaking, and just feeling like I am about to die. Did get some new jewelry-like stuffs for my tongue and labret. It is really nice to have a stud in my labret piercing that is the correct size… and some nice acrylic balls on my tongue.

I have to say that being referenced to by male pronouns and my birth name is really degrading and annoying. Though, what can I expect from really religious mormon parents. Otherwise, they do seem to be tolerating us alright, at least for now. It is at least somewhere to sleep.

Will be posting another update next week, if not sooner!

That is all from me, at least for now…
Toodles~
Miya

So yesterday I went and got my tongue pierced. Getting it pierced didn’t hurt, but afterwords is a big pain. Hard to talk, eat, etc. Also, the barbell is huge, but that is because of the swelling and should be replaced with a shorter one here soon enough. While I get my blog more set up, here is a picture of all my piercings thus far: http://www.flickr.com/photos/miyabina/2423636024/

So yeah, I got my ears pierced two days ago too hehe
Going to try an stick to a new diet. Vegetarian. Meat is just nasty… if you just walk down the meat isle of a supermarket you can see what I mean. You just get sick looking at all that. I mean granted some meat is nice… like chicken… or a nice burger. Still though, there are plenty of times I’ve gotten sick from ill prepared meat at restaurants (which is the only place I eat burgers really), and its hard to get good tasting chicken nowadays. So, really all in all, not going to miss much. Except for having to look at candies… not vegetarian a lot of them are. Quite nasty.

Anyway, yes… new blog but now I have more control over it and no ads. So, should be good for ya
That’s all from me for this rambling blog…
Toodles~
Miya